Big Things

The end is near for my big project. People are starting to get excited about sign-off, which (for other people) represents dollar signs and the fruition of a long, long wait. I think I'd be more excited about it if I had dollar signs in my future, too. For me, it's more like judgment day. The customer looks at the list of promises and specifications, compares them to the reality of the situation, and either does or doesn't sign on the dotted line.

Sign-off doesn't mean freedom for me. There are post sign-off deliverables to make good on, and open issues, there's usually a period of hand-holding and ... well, it's enough to say that there's always something left to do. What it does mean, for me, is that the pressure (from my company) backs off a bit, and I can start using words like "vacation request" again. At least that's my hope. My immediate manager probably has other ideas of how I should use my first week free from the albatross, and I doubt me removing the battery from my work phone plays heavily into his favorite scenario.

On our super engineering power users weekly international conference call, someone mentioned that the current (short-term) engineering group may be transitioned into a permanent resource. I don't completely know what that means, because it was couched in management-friendly terminology (obfuscate, obfuscate, obfuscate), but it sounds like this project is sticking with all of us forever. And ever.

In the middle of the work mess, life continues. The dandelions grow taller, M and I continue to work towards big goals, the dishes pile up and then recede, and the living room slowly comes into focus behind the dwindling boxes. We went from talking about some day, to talking about a day.

Big things can be overwhelming. I'm looking forward to a weekend of little things. We're quietly celebrating my birthday at home. I'm going to think of what I want to do, when I finally get a vacation. I'm going to rest, too, and spend some time daydreaming about things to come.